I recently got Long Beach as well as my area code in playing cards on my chest. I love where I’m from. It’s made me who I am today, for better or worse. The suit of the cards is hearts because I really have a heart for my city. There’s some really hurting people there, and I want to do what I can to help. I want to look into the mirror every day and remember where I came from and the people in that city. I’ll never forget where I’m from, and where I’ve been, regardless of where I currently live or what changes in Long Beach. I got the cards themselves because one of the things me and my friends from Long Beach do the most is play poker for hours at a time, so the cards remind me of my best friends I grew up with. Also, one of the things I remember the most about being a really little kid is playing cards all day with my mom before I was old enough to go to school. Everything in this tattoo reminds me of where I’m from and the people and places that made me into who I am today.
No one can look at the world today and observe the tragic disillusionments and rampant degradations without being driven to the conclusion that something in the organism of the human race has gone mysteriously and terribly wrong… . It is the glory and the doom of man to have been made for fellowship with God. Of all the faculties and capacities which he possesses, incomparably the greatest is his capacity for God… . Reconciliation with God is, therefore, the cardinal issue, far and away the most crucial problem confronting the soul of man today.” - Dr. James Stewart
We’re scared and plagued with pain. Yet without hesitation we’re sent out into the middle of a war and told to survive. How is this fair? We take a look at the world and see that it’s struggling, scared, and falling apart. Yet we stare straight into the eyes of the world and press on even though it screams back ‘you’ll fail’. Yes this world is struggling, scared, and falling apart. However, this world wasn’t built to last and we are. Each one of us have desires within that we must fight for. The enemy is cunning and will try to attack us where our defenses are most weak. During these times we mustn’t close our eyes and harden our hearts in fear. We must turn and face our enemy and fight with every last breath. The road is long, hard, and filled with trials and temptation. And when we fall, we must have the strength to pick ourselves back up and press on.
Porcelain Numbness >
Nothing that we do is all that great. Call me a cynic, but I don’t really see the point to it all. I’m just so f’in tired of all this crap. All of what we’re doing is really just bull. We walk around with our noses in the air, arguing, debating, never letting the absurd notion that maybe we are wrong get anywhere near us. Because, of course, we never get anything wrong… Doesn’t it seem even a tiny bit ridiculous to anyone besides me that even though we’ve only lived through, maybe a quarter of our lives, that somehow we have gained some sort of extreme wisdom in our twenty-some years of life? It’s so stupid. We’re so stupid. I’m so sick of this pompous arguing/debating. It’s pointless. Just like everything we’re doing. Do we really think that what we’re doing with our lives means anything? We’re so concerned with filling our heads with academic garbage that we miss so much of life.
I’m so tired of feeling nothing. I miss rage. I miss anger. Sadness. Bitterness. But now life is good, easy. Don’t get me wrong, I have struggles. There’s a lot of times where life could be better, but I kinda miss being pissed and angry at the world. Most times, I don’t feel anything. I want to be hit. I want to hit back. I want to shoot something just to feel the power of it. I’m sick of political-correctness making everyone comfortable. I want to destroy it. Be offensive. I want to break things. To make someone hurt. Am I scaring you with these words? Good. Because we’re all caught in this same crap. And whether or not you admit it, I would bet if you took the time you’d agree with what I said above, just maybe society has told you over and over again to put aside those things because they’re not pleasant. They’re not polite.
I watch action movies and see men fighting and killing and struggling for something, and then I look at my life, and it’s not there. That doesn’t exist. And yet these ideas pull at something deep inside of me. I yearn to be that guy. I think we all do.
It’s time to break free. To bash the skulls of the authority. To slit the throats of the system. REBEL AGAINST IT ALL.
With this all being said, I don’t expect anything to actually happen. I know my life won’t change. I’m sure yours won’t. Because no matter how much we hate what we’re in now, it’s comfortable. We like comfort. We enjoy the warmth of the status quo. When it really comes down to it, we’re wimps. None of us are as tough as we really think we are. If we were, I wouldn’t be sitting here ranting into a laptop, and you wouldn’t be sitting there reading it…
